stranger with my name

I have often wondered what it would be like to meet someone with my name.

Wait, that sounds stupid.

I have often wondered what it would be like to meet someone not related to me and who is not my dog with my name.

Better.

My sister, cousin and I share the same first name and last name, my dog Gar-Bo too. Well, technically, our birth certificates list our Chinese first and middle names as our first name, but we know better. Gar is our generational name, given to all of the daughters of my generation on my father's side of the family. The purpose of a generational name is to aid with genealogy, to better understand which person belongs where in the family tree. It's not a practice as popular now as it used to be, but my grandfather really wanted it for us, probably because his own family history map is so unclear. The name our grandfather gave us "Gar" is the character for family, and each of our middle names plays off of that. For example, my sister's middle name gives her full name the meaning "family happiness" while my middle name gives my full name the meaning "the well-spring of family prosperity/happiness" and my dog's name means "family precious/treasure". Yes. We love our dog.

Needless to say, life was a bit confusing while my sister and I lived in the same household. Not so much with our family, they would just call us by our middle names, but I cannot count the number of times we've answered the phone for the wrong Gar, or was called by the other's full name in classes. Our poor cousin, who moved into the school district a few years after us, was stuck with being called two wrong names as opposed to just one.

So you would think I would be used to the whole multiple "Gar"s thing, right? Not so much. My first Sunday back in the University Ward* after my road trip Annah and Suzanne, I had a bit of a shock. I guess my first clue was when I handed my membership transfer form to Shane, the first counselor in our bishopric. "Oh, I think we already have your records". Odd, considering my whole involved conversation with the clerk at the Baltimore University Ward about why I should probably wait until I got back to the California to transfer my records. After church, a girl from the ward was passing out visiting teaching assignments** and came up to me with a slip of paper. "This is you, right?" I was surprised at the efficiency of the whole thing - my first Sunday back and I already have my visiting teaching assignment? - but upon closer inspection of the piece of paper, I realized that while the first and last names matched up, the middle name didn't. In fact, the middle name looked very much like the middle name of my cousin, sans a vowel, but she's a Seventh Day Adventist, not LDS, so I was confused. "umm... I think that's another Gar?" Awkward. A few days later at institute*** I walked into the atrium and a girl from the ward who I didn't know shouted "Gar! You came!" ran up to me, stopped, and said "Wait, you're not Gar". Errr... "Actually, I am Gar, just not the one you're thinking of" "Oh...weird, you look like her" uhhh... awkward? how many times am I allowed to write "awkward"? Anyone?

So you're thinking that it was my cousin with her name misspelled and a conversion? Nope. Actually, I talked to my cousin, and she told me that she was supposed to be in the same dorm as this girl, which would have been really strange for her. Now they're facebook friends. Oh, the glory of facebook.

I mean, same first and last name, and LDS, and in the University Ward? What are the chances? Though, really, like Hannah says, if the first name is the same, it's not so surprising that the last name matches, seeing as it is one of the most popular last names in the world.

now it's time for the shameful secrets portion of this post, in which I give unbidden and uncomfortable confessions designed to help you understand the demented world of gar... gar being me... not the other one.

Shameful secret # 1: I have used the "there's another Gar" excuse to hide from/avoid people and responsibilities. (i.e. Trusting Person: "Gar, I heard that you can sing. Will you participate in X musical number?" Me: "Umm, there's another Gar, she must be the one you heard about. In fact, I've heard that she's a really great singer (which, apparently, she is, as I found out in the process of shameful secret # 2)" Trusting Person: "Oh, okay, I'll check on that" Me: "*sigh of relief*"... I won't share the other incidents because, well, yeah, they really are far too embarassing)

Shameful secret # 2: I have googled the other Gar. I do not look like her. I find her accomplishments highly impressive. I am slightly jealous.

Shameful secret # 3: I google everyone.


So now it has been four months, and I still haven't met the other Gar, and doubt I ever will. There's still a ton of confusion in the ward about the whole thing. The second counselor in the bishopric wanted to introduce me using the other Gar's full name, and the sister missionaries tried to get in contact with me by calling the other Gar. I wonder if she gets annoyed or confused by these random phone calls from people she doesn't know about things in which she is not involved. Maybe someday I'll meet her, and maybe she won't hate me. Then, like Annah suggested, we can finally know what it feels like, when doves cry...

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Shelbyville Milhouse: But Milhouse is my name!
Springfield Milhouse: But I thought I was the only one!
Shelbyville Milhouse: A pain I know all too well.
Springfield Milhouse (sobbing): So this is what it feels like, when doves cry!

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* a ward is a congregation of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, organized by geographical location and special interest. i.e. the Berkeley University Ward is a congregation of the LDS church serving Young Single Adults in the East Bay and surrounding areas

** visiting teaching is a program in the LDS church designed to look after women and families in the ward to make sure no one is left to bear a burden alone. Each woman in the ward is assigned a companionship of two other women in the ward who will visit with her each month, and help her with anything she might need help with. She, in turn, does the same in her own companionship for other women in the ward.

*** institute is a voluntary program for young adults both within and without the church who want to learn more about the teachings of the LDS church through weekly classes